As this class comes to end, I would like to thank each of your for sharing your thoughts, ideas, and personal memories and situations. I have learned so much from each of you as you all have helped to increase my understanding of effective communication. I wish you well in your professional and educational journey and look forward to working with each of you in our final classes.
Best,
Talibah
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Adjourning in Groups
I have worked with several groups but, I have only reached the adjourning with a handful. Most recently I was assigned to work with a team of teachers for the last two years. In the beginning we had a difficult time moving through the norming stage but we finally did after almost a years work. That team was removed from my case load this year and it was/is very difficult for me and other members of the team. Questions about trust with the new coach, effectiveness, and worries about having to start the forming and norming process all over have been revealed. We had clear norms, built a mutual respect for one another, knew each others strengths, and really understood the goal for our work together. We met one final time at the end of the school year where I said good-bye's and highlighted some of the goals we had accomplished over the two years. Many members of the team approached me individually to express thanks and sadness. This team was important to me on a personal level which is why is has been difficult to adjourn from them. Adjournment offered closure with the group. It offered the opportunity to reflect in order to help us grow in future situations. Although I appreciate the advice and food for thought from my Walden colleagues, I will not have a difficult time adjourning from them. Working with others in this setting is a task to reach the end goal. With such distance between us that cohesiveness is not authentic, rather forced.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Disagreements and Conflicts
I have been with my current boyfriend for almost 5 years. Needless to say we have surely had many instances with disagreements, as I am sure most couple have. In the beginning it was rough learning one another but, now after some years and us moving in together the disagreements do not happen as often and do not escalate like they use to. Most recently, we got into a disagreement (I prefer not to get into details) and we both ended up talking loudly and aggressively toward one another. In the past I have had problems keeping the focus on the issue, frequently bringing in other issues that honestly may or may not be related. I have learned that is NOT a good idea so when in the midst of conflict I focus really hard on listening and not quickly responding (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 239). Over the past few months I have learned a few strategies that have really helped maintain calmness and respect for one another during these times:
1. I try to state my feelings and needs as clearly as possible and then I ask for him to repeat what I said so that I can confirm we both have the same clear understanding (The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/)
2. I ask questions that must be answered specifically. I avoide yes/ no questions to gain a better understanding of his position (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p.240).
3. I try to compromise as often as possible. Specifically when I need something done I ask "when will you do it by?" so that I dont get upset when its not done when I think it should have been done and he also maintains power in that he has control over when he wants to do it (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 241, 244).
All three of these strategies have really helped the communication between the both of us and aided in the creation of a safe, respectful environment were we both feel comfortable address difficult issues. What types of strategies have you all found that have worked to increase your communication with your spouse, partner, or person you interact with frequently?
References
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/
1. I try to state my feelings and needs as clearly as possible and then I ask for him to repeat what I said so that I can confirm we both have the same clear understanding (The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/)
2. I ask questions that must be answered specifically. I avoide yes/ no questions to gain a better understanding of his position (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p.240).
3. I try to compromise as often as possible. Specifically when I need something done I ask "when will you do it by?" so that I dont get upset when its not done when I think it should have been done and he also maintains power in that he has control over when he wants to do it (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 241, 244).
All three of these strategies have really helped the communication between the both of us and aided in the creation of a safe, respectful environment were we both feel comfortable address difficult issues. What types of strategies have you all found that have worked to increase your communication with your spouse, partner, or person you interact with frequently?
References
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/
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