Thank you

As this class comes to end, I would like to thank each of your for sharing your thoughts, ideas, and personal memories and situations.  I have learned so much from each of you as you all have helped to increase my understanding of effective communication.  I wish you well in your professional and educational journey and look forward to working with each of you in our final classes.
Best,

Talibah

Adjourning in Groups

I have worked with several groups but, I have only reached the adjourning with a handful.  Most recently I was assigned to work with a team of teachers for the last two years. In the beginning we had a difficult time moving through the norming stage but we finally did after almost a years work.  That team was removed from my case load this year and it was/is very difficult for me and other members of the team. Questions about trust with the new coach, effectiveness, and worries about having to start the forming and norming process all over have been revealed.  We had clear norms, built a mutual respect for one another, knew each others strengths, and really understood the goal for our work together.  We met one final time at the end of the school year where I said good-bye's and highlighted some of the goals we had accomplished over the two years.  Many members of the team approached me individually to express thanks and sadness.  This team was important to me on a personal level which is why is has been difficult to adjourn from them.  Adjournment offered closure with the group.  It offered the opportunity to reflect in order to help us grow in future situations. Although I appreciate the advice and food for thought from my Walden colleagues, I will not have a difficult time adjourning from them.  Working with others in this setting is a task to reach the end goal.  With such distance between us that cohesiveness is not authentic, rather forced.

Disagreements and Conflicts

I have been with my current boyfriend for almost 5 years.  Needless to say we have surely had many instances with disagreements, as I am sure most couple have.  In the beginning it was rough learning one another but, now after some years and us moving in together the disagreements do not happen as often and do not escalate like they use to.  Most recently, we got into a disagreement (I prefer not to get into details) and we both ended up talking loudly and aggressively toward one another.  In the past I have had problems keeping the focus on the issue, frequently bringing in other issues that honestly may or may not be related.  I have learned that is NOT a good idea so when in the midst of conflict I focus really hard on listening and not quickly responding (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 239). Over the past few months I have learned a few strategies that have really helped maintain calmness and respect for one another during these times:

1. I try to state my feelings and needs as clearly as possible and then I ask for him to repeat what I said so that I can confirm we both have the same clear understanding (The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/)

2. I ask questions that must be answered specifically.  I avoide yes/ no questions to gain a better understanding of his position (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p.240). 

3. I try to compromise as often as possible. Specifically when I need something done I ask "when will you do it by?" so that I dont get upset when its not done when I think it should have been done and he also maintains power in that he has control over when he wants to do it (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 241, 244).

All three of these strategies have really helped the communication between the both of us and aided in the creation of a safe, respectful environment were we both feel comfortable address difficult issues.  What types of strategies have you all found that have worked to increase your communication with your spouse, partner, or person you interact with frequently?

References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/

Communication Evaluation

The communication evaluation this week was very interesting.  I had my significant other and my mother complete the survey. The one thing that surprised me was that my mother did not rate me as high as I thought she would have for verbal aggressiveness especially since we have a long history of ineffective communication with one another.   After all of the exercises this week, I was reminded of the importance of knowing yourself, as it impact your communication with others.  Having self-esteem, knowing how we feel about specific things, and being able to continuously assess and reflect on our abilities is crucial. Without having those skills we will never grow in our communication or be able to effectively use communication as a way of building relationships both professionally and personally.  Another insight I had this week was how I manage my identity to others, specifically self presentation.  Depending on the setting, there are certain aspects I choose to reveal which have been successful thus far, however when determining what to present to others, I must take into account how that will be received by others and how that can impact my communication with those individuals.  This is especially important when determining how to present yourself to children and families and finding the fine line between building a personal professional relationship that does not cross to far into personal but far enough that the parents trust and value your opinion and input.  This week was eye opening in that like our professional practices, communication is constant and we should always be engaging in reflection around our communication so that it continues to be effective.

Communication

When thinking about communication one of the first people that comes to mind is the fabulous OPRAH!

Oprah, unlike many other new anchors and TV personalities, is able to show the affiliation she has for others in a way unlike anyone else.  When interviewing I notice she laughs and smiles, when appropriate, she is gracious for allowing others to speak with her, she touches her guest, on the hand or shoulder, and whether the topic of a serious nature or not the viewer, or at least I walk away feeling touched, inspired, or open to receiving the information present or extracted from the interview (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 6).  Oprah also has a goal in mind when speaking or interviewing.  She does not talk to gossip or slander but rather to expose a truth, dispel a myth, gain understanding, etc.  She uses her ability to communicate to achieve a specific goal, which is why she is considered one of the most influential people (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 7).  

Oprah is influential over many people, "there is no body else with that kind of consistency and power", as stated by Dorothy Pomerantz of Forbes.com (Reaney, 2013). Additionally, Oprah always seems to be aware of cultural barriers and differences when speaking to others, she demonstrates appropriate behavior which make you want to spill all the tea! She is surely one that I have attempted to model some of my own communications after.  She is very successful and a huge portion of that is due to her ability to communicate.  I admire her ability to disagree without making others feel degraded or intimidated.  I admire her sincereness when speaking with others and respect for differences.   I admire her ability to accept responsibility for her communication, as she often expects the same when interviewing others (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2013, p.15).  My current level of communication is aligned with my experiences, age, and knowledge I have gained through work and personal experiences.  As my experiences and knowledge deepen and expand over time and through opportunities my level of communication will change and expect.  

References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Reaney, P. (2013). Oprah tops forbes' most powerful celebrity list. Huff Post Media. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/26/oprah-forbes-most-powerful-celebrity_n_3500418.html 

Professional Hopes and Goals

This class has truly opened my eyes to the real meaning of diversity and its effects within the field of early childhood education.  One hope that I have for families of diverse backgrounds is that they are open to sharing their experiences and cultures to others and that they understand that many of us early educators are living works of continuous education.  As teachers, we may not get it right the first time but I hope parents and families see our passion and attempts to incorporate and learn and they give us a chance to make them feel welcomed and respected.

In regard to the early childhood field, I hope anti-bias and diversity education become standard courses in undergraduate studies, a requirement to obtain or renew and teaching license, and are seen as valuable professional development opportunities for all professionals within the field.  It saddens me that the growth I made and the information I learned during this class is being present to me for the first time.  I have been in the field for 7 years this August and how useful this would have been to have my first year in the classroom.

To my colleagues, I appreciate your insightful ideas, thoughts, and information you posted during this course.  I have gained new information from each of you.  I wish you well in all of your future endeavors and may your light continue to shine, your vision remain to close to heart, and you always remember your purpose and reason for wanting to work with young children and their families.

Best to all of you!

Welcoming Families Around the World

There are many steps I would take to welcome a child a their family from Qatar.  I would first seek general information about the country from the internet and the embassy.  This would help to provide me with a general overview on the countries customs, social rules of behavior, clothing, holidays, religion,etc.  My next step would be to have a lengthy conversation with the family to learn about the family culture, their ideas of education, gender roles, behavior, family celebrations, and other information that is specific to the family.  This would aide in ensuring I have culturally proper interactions with the child, their family, and provide some consistency between home and school.  I would ask the family to teach me common words and phrases, 1 or 2 children's games and songs.  Having this information would allow me to increase my interaction with the child as well as the interaction between the child and other children.  We would be able to greet the child in their native language, play games they are familiar with, and sing songs.  This alone will aide in the child feeling accepted and valued and increase a positive classroom environment.  It would be important for the child to see a representation of their culture within the classroom, so family pictures, pictures of famous and well know places in Qatar, food, flowers and clothing for dramatic play should be added. Lastly, I would have the family come in as often as possible to read stories, sing songs, share meals and treats native to their country, and tell family and culture stories.  Including the family will show my respect and value for the uniqueness and diversity they bring to my classroom.  It will enhance the relationship and will create a positive  foundation for the family as I would be their first experience with a non-native teacher and school.

The personal side

I remember being a sophomore in college and I decided to get a part time job at the local grocery store.  My college was in a country town where the only black people there were those attending the university.  I was a cashier and one day this white woman came through my line with a fur hat.  She was a much older lady and by her demeanor towards me, she was not happy that she had to go through the line with a black cashier (there were only two open at the time).  To pay for her items she wrote a check.  I put the check through and it was declined.  I ran it again and it was not accepted.  I leaned in quietly and said "ma'am your check is not being accepted do you have another way to pay for your items".  Well she instantly became LOUD and angry saying "clearly you don't know what your doing", "you people cant even work a machine", "this is why only certain people should be allowed to handle peoples money".  Well I stayed calm on the outside but on the inside I had one too may "you people" for my liking.  I was angry that she stereotyped me.  I was angry she called me uneducated all because I was black. The floor manager came over and tried to run her check with me there and it was also declined.  The store manager said the same thing to her I said and she went into her pocket and pulled out cash, threw it at me and walked out.  No one said anything to me, not another employee, manager, nothing.  That was my last day working at that store.  I was hurt that someone accused me of not being able to do my job because I was black.  She accused me of purposely trying to embarrass her because I was black. The sad part is that in those parts, the only black people many people see is what is on TV and that's what they base their assumptions and thoughts off.  It would have to be a personal investment of those living in limited diverse areas to learn and want to learn about other culture, otherwise the same assumptions will continue to happen.

Practicing Awareness of Microagressions

I went to college in Western Maryland near the West Virginia line. There were limited African American there.  The surrounding cities' populations are mostly filled with low income Whites who have had limited or no interaction with ethnicity's  others than their own.  The biggest store near the college is Walmart which is a town away.  One afternoon I was walking through Walmart with my sorority sisters, I was light skin with very short hair (boy cut), she was dark skin with locs, and the other was brown with wavy hair.  As we were walking and shopping, a little white girl ran up to my darker skinned friend stopped in front of her and yelled at the top of her lungs "AHHHHHH NIGGGGEERRRR"! We were all baffled, speechless, angered so much so, we froze.  No one moved because we were shocked that this happen 1 and shocked that the mother was right there and laughed.  Not that we thought racism was dead, because we all know it is alive but, that the level of blatant disrespect that children learn from their parents is generational and long lasting.  Moreover, it takes everyone involved to want to grow into an accepting culture and if people choose not to expand their horizons or choose to believe the inaccurate representations of African American on TV (reality shows, music videos) are true, then things will not change.

I was hurt for my friend who shook it off, as one she not an African American citizen, she British but, I was more hurt for that child as she is being taught hate at such an early age.  I would categorise this example of microagression as microasault as it was deliberate intentional and purposefully done in attempts to hurt (Laureate Education, 2011).  This was one of the most overtly noticeable examples of microagression I have observed or be apart of.  I hope that with education things will slowly begin to change.

Laureate Education (2011). Microaggressions in everyday life

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

I have a friend who is African from Cameroon who is culturally different from me in many ways however, in other ways we are culturally similar.  When asked her definition of culture she responded “Culture is what makes each of us different.  It is the things which are not always known to the general public but are special and sacred to individuals and their families.  Diversity is a mixture of various cultures.  Diversity is also the understanding that is it comprised of a variety of differences”.   My friend of Indian decent had a similar definition of culture, “ it is the unique pieces of me that others in my family may share.  Culture is the special characteristics that create individuality and uniqueness among a group of people.  Culture is shared understandings and beliefs.  Diversity is a mixture of cultures”.  I also spoke with a colleague of mine who responded “diversity is a mixture of ethnicity's, races, and cultures.  Culture is what defines who we are as people.  Some of our culture is passed and learned through family and history, other parts of our culture is influenced by media  and other groups”.

            I was encouraged that all three of the responses were similar to the definitions we have learned and expanded through this class.  Culture is unconscious and incorporated perspectives from a variety of places (Laureate Education, 2011).  One of the responses highlighted it perfect when she said “it is not always known to the general public” which is very similar to the understanding Janet Gonzalez-Mena shared as comparing culture to an iceberg, what is not seen is the deep culture (Laureate Education, 2011).   None of these answers omitted aspects of culture as it is comprised of race, ethnicity, and religion, but also of those deep aspects which are unique.  All three definitions of diversity were whole, as they highlighted the need for respect of differences, combining differences and highlighted the intermix of culture and diversity, one which cannot happen without the other.   My understanding of the relationship between culture and diversity was enhanced during this exercise.  Diversity is a mixture of culture but culture is a combination of diverse influences, beliefs, perspectives.

References

Laureate Education Inc., (2011). (DVD) Culture and Diversity.

My Family Culture

If I had to choose three items to take with me that would represent my culture I would take my bible (NKJV), the temptations Christmas album, and a cookbook.  Religion is very important in my culture, as it is the guiding force in my life.  I was raised in the church by my parents and grandparents.  Many summer weeks were spent in vacation bible school and every morning my grandmother had bible study with my sister and I when we visited her for the summer.  I was taught and believe that God is the creator, doer, and maker of all things.  Brining the Bible as one of my three items would allow me to continue to grow in the word.

            A huge part of my culture is family and music, which is why I would bring the Christmas album.  I can remember from being a little girl my parents playing this album during the Christmas holidays, especially Christmas morning.  Whenever I hear songs from it I immediately think of my family, Christmas decorations, and joy.   Food is also a component of my culture.  The cookbook would serve as documentation of popular dishes so that they can be recreated in the future.  I would bring a cookbook that has both traditional soul food meals as well as vegetarian meals which is how I was raised. 

            If I had to choose only one item I would bring the bible because it the one item that would bring me peace.  I had a somewhat difficult time deciding what items to choose because my culture is a combination of many cultures.  I have realized that the most identifying piece of my culture is through memory not artifact.  It does make me think that I should begin to collect or create artifacts that can be shared or passed through generations as memories only last as long the person is alive.